No idea why I clicked an ad with a pixelated shark and the words “Play like a beast.” It led to Pacific Spins Casino and I figured, screw it, I live in Canada, I’m bored, let’s spin something. Five minutes later I’m sweating over free spins and screaming when I land a scatter. This isn’t about skill — it’s pure chaos and I’m here for it. Better than small talk, better than dating apps, and definitely better than my last relationship.

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